Mom

My mother bravely faced down a full year of lung cancer in 2014/15, which was already at stage 4 when it was discovered – so the year was much longer than any doctor’s most optimistic prognosis.  We lived that last year of her life closely with her (especially my sisters) and got to spend so much quality time appreciating what she meant to us as we supported her and positively hoped for the best. 

As time went on, it became more and more clear that hope and optimism were not going to win the day, despite her best efforts, and our undying support.  This song poured out of me in the final weeks of her life, when it was apparent that she was tired of the fight, and ready to go.  I hadn’t really conceived of her dying yet, it is very difficult to do that especially when you’re trying to be a rock of positivity all the time.  So these words don’t mention death or loss, only the many things I love about my mother (that pretty much everyone alive has ever felt about their own mother), but there is an undeniable wistfulness pervading both the lyrics and the somewhat somber melody. 

The musical feeling that boiled up to the surface was childlike I can see now, as though I was reverting to the tiny infant utterly dependent on its mother.  In the face of impending death, this is not uncommon; we cling to the most elemental bond we can ever feel, a child to its parents (especially the mother who carried you in her own body and fed and cared for you so intimately in your earliest days).  Many similar lyrical thoughts come out here, as I continue to try to express in words ineffable feelings

                                     Mom

     Mom, Mom
     Well I know that life and love have come
     From Mom, Mom
     You were always there to hear my song
     When I was young

What I learned during earlier days of mine
From my Dad and my Mom
Helped to make me the man I’ve become
Though I’m still far from done
Living up to the name of my Mother’s son

     Worthy of Mom, Mom
     Shining in my sky just like the sun, for so long
     Mom, Mom
     What I owe to you I cannot sum up in song

Wishing that I could speak from the heart
But I start to feel overcome
When I wonder at all you have done
I am simply struck dumb 
Though the words that I search for refuse to come...

     You know I love you Mom, Mom
     What I can’t quite verbalize I’ll hum
     While I strum…
          Mmm mm mm mm mmm
© 2022 Scott Perry (SOCAN/BMI)
Recorded by Jackson Gardner at Flash Recording
    and Adrian Buckley at Chez Miaou
Mixed & Mastered by Adrian Buckley
Scott Perry: Vocals, Guitars
Eric Lefebvre: Bass
Derek Macdonald: Keyboards
Adrian Buckley: Drums